June 27, 2006
I missed this op.ed. by Charles Krauthammer in the Washington Post about why he loves Australia. Why would a neocon, who despises weak-kneed, Islamofascist-coddling countries, love Australia? Because it is not a weak-kneed, Islamofascist-coddling country that's why.
After a section that loves the conservative dismissal of multiculturalism and sharia law to help settle divorce disputes amongst Muslims, Krauthammer lays out his case thusly:
For Americans, Australia engenders nostalgia for our own past, which we gauzily remember as infused with John Wayne plain-spokenness and vigor. Australia evokes an echo of our own frontier, which is why Australia is the only place you can unironically still shoot a Western.
Australia is a place where men are still men and women are still women. White men and women are the good guys that is. And Christian to boot. The blacks are the other and must be dealt with accordingly. So must non-Christians. They are the bad guys. Xenophobic hate and contempt come to my mind when I think of the White Australia policy. The love here is a cowboy love of a good old shootout.
Krauthammer then connects this view of the Other to the world stage. He builds the case. Australia he says:
...is surely the only place where you hear officials speaking plainly in defense of action. What other foreign minister but Australia's would see through "multilateralism," the fetish of every sniveling foreign policy grub from the Quai d'Orsay to Foggy Bottom, calling it correctly "a synonym for an ineffective and unfocused policy involving internationalism of the lowest common denominator"?
I thought that most of the world, apart from the oddly named Coalition of the Willing, the Israeli Lobby and Israeli hardliners favoured multilateralism. That means the Coaltion can stick it up those snivelling grubs who use international law to put constraints on imperial occupation of independent countries. Power is what matters. Power makes right.
Krauthammer loves Australia because it knows its place in the natural order of things of Pax Americana:
Australia has no illusions about the "international community" and its feckless institutions. An island of tranquility in a roiling region, Australia understands that peace and prosperity do not come with the air we breathe but are maintained by power -- once the power of the British Empire, now the power of the United States.
In case you missed the implication of imperial power about fighting the good fight for today, it is laid out:
Australia joined the faraway wars of early-20th-century Europe not out of imperial nostalgia but out of a deep understanding that its fate and the fate of liberty were intimately bound with that of the British Empire as principal underwriter of the international system. Today the underwriter is America, and Australia understands that an American retreat or defeat -- a chastening consummation devoutly, if secretly, wished by many a Western ally -- would be catastrophic for Australia and for the world.
What is good for America is not just good Australia it is good for the world. Hence there can be no "cut and run". You can sense the logic of paranoia: if we "cut and run,then that would provide a launching pad for the terrorists to strike the United States and the West.
Krauthammer ends saying that Australia understands America's role and is sympathetic to its predicament as reluctant hegemon. That understanding has led it to share foxholes with Americans from Korea to KabulThe Bush Administration as the reluctant hegemon? I guess it's a neocon attempt at a joke.
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"...infused with John Wayne plain-spokenness"
Australia? J-Ho's Australia. The land of spin and misinfinformation where no minister is ever accountable. The nation which get's it's world view from A Current Affair.
"...infused with John Wayne plain-spokenness"
HA!
Of course "plain-spokenness" isn't necessarily the same thing as hoesty...