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December 30, 2007
There's some wild and woolly weather going on at the Gold Coast at the moment. It's making the place untidy, which is something we don't tolerate around these parts. You can think the ugliest of thoughts, behave as badly as you like, beat the crap out of your family and anyone else you don't like, and amass several fortunes ripping off first home buyers and other innocents. Just don't let your lawn get out of hand. The front lawn - we don't care about the back unless it can be seen from the street.
And no overt signs of poverty either, thanks. We don't do poverty here. It's untidy.
We've even got a nifty dobbing system that works along the lines of name and shame. If you notice someone's lawn getting a bit unkempt you can email On Our Watch at the Gold Coast Bulletin (News Ltd, who else?) and they'll publish the details with a photo if it's untidy enough, along with the name and address of the perpetrator where possible. It's a successful campaign. The paper devotes a whole page to a parade of horror.
For the past two weeks we've been scandalised by "the notorious A-frame house of Hope Island". Hope Island is a developing cluster of new canal and golf course estates being built on old farm land. It's certainly no place for a timber A-frame. Thank goodness "finally the unwanted landmark is being dismantled".
There's nothing organic or human about the way the Gold Coast is growing. Developers buy chunks of land and cram as many houses onto it as possible. There could be as many as four designs potential owners can choose from. They come landscaped, tidy and new and they're apparently supposed to stay that way.
Anything over 10 years old is advertised in real estate brochures as quaint, renovator's dream or land plus free house. Brand new is good. New is OK. Newish is borderline and established is overdue for demolition. Bunnings is the place to be seen if you're not promenading around the tourist strip or playing a round of golf. They have lovely big trolleys at Bunnings.
Which is another problem according to On Our Watch. "Shopping trolleys mar our suburban streets". "Surely someone must be responsible for gathering the abandoned shopping trolleys marring our suburbs at the moment". Somebody might mistake all that marring for evidence of human life.
There's a "rising tide of rubbish" in our canals and our bus stops are looking "a bit scruffy" because the council doesn't pick up the garbage we throw in the water, or install bike stands at bus stops. The whole place is going to hell in a handcart.
Our well manicured, brand new and spotlessness is being overrun by a plague of unsightly messiness. Thank goodness for the vigilance of On Our Watch, fearlessly exposing the unacceptable and monstrous. Appearance is everything.
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Lyn,
Why aren't the suburban lawns dying off? I thought that there were water shortages and restrictions in SE Queensland? So how come people are still watering their lawns? Are they breaking the law to keep the front lawns looking nice and tidy?