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November 2, 2008
A gem of an article discovered riffling through the magazines in a dentist's waiting room the other day brought back some horrible memories. What if?
In an October 2006 column in the old Bulletin, Laurie Oakes was getting stuck into John Howard for his unhealthy obsession with George W Bush. The Lowy Institute had recently published an opinion poll which found that Australians were not at all pleased with the way the Howard/Bush romance was progressing, and were rather more nervous about American foreign policy than about the axis of evil. The fridge magnet had lost its appeal and David Hicks was becoming an irritating issue for the Howard government.
We'd just been treated to television footage of one of our Prime Minister's grovelling visits to the US, and one of Bush's 'man of steel' or 'deputy sheriff' comments. If anything, Kim Beazley seemed as spellbound by Bush as Howard was. Oakes was expecting a Beazley/Howard election in 2007 and it was all looking rather depressing.
The Primaries and Presidential Election were too far away to think about then, but come February we were once again enjoying the spectacle of our Prime Minister being terribly important in the United States, where he declared that an Obama win would be a win for the terrorists.
What if Howard had won in 2007? He'd currently be rooting for McCain and Palin. Most of the world is hoping for an Obama win, but Howard would be on al Qaeda's side, hoping for a McCain win. His best friend is currently as popular as several unsavoury proverbials and his economic management isn't looking all that swish. What would he be telling his AM breakfast radio audience about Obama? Would he be able to keep a straight face while telling us our most important relationship will stay strong regardless of who wins?
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I'm sure he would be addressing the nation in a special television broadcast explaining why cancelling all awards and collective agreements in favour of mandatory individual workplace bargaining was a necessary response to the global financial crisis. Eyes flicking from Barack Obama to Peter Costello he would also assure us solemnly that this was no time to experiment with inexperienced leadership :)