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July 24, 2003
Until the PHP pathways code of public opinion are given a good reworking by an expert designer, postings will be limited. The front page will remain messy until then. I feel like this when confronted by rejigging snappily designed PHP include pathways.
This post is a bit of a roundup. It's also a bit self-reflexive. I'm trying to loosen up the dreary academic style I learnt in the taxpayer-funded university dominated by tenured radicals who think that Australia is a sewer of evil. I thought I'd do so by reading some of those conservative journalists who see journalism as a weapon in the culture wars.
I wanted to learn how to have fun on a weblog.
First up is Miranda Devine. She advises conservatives to ensure they have some attitude in dealing with the enemy. Don't write journalism just sneer. Tim Blair shows how it is done. Why sneer? It's all about revenge and sneering is the best way to get it.
Reading them reminds me of hagfish. You know, the ones whose face looks like their anus.
Just trying to do a sneer. Not that good eh?
But this is fun. It means that I don't have to do Tim Blair Watch (here and here) anymore.
So maybe I could learn a few tricks from this sneerer
You don't learn much sense I admit. This is a guy who thinks that building more dams is the solution to the water crisis. And he is not going giving to give up his lawn. But you can start writing lines like "Getting Melburnians to suck the juice of the pigface?"
Then I'd be able to do more than sneer. I would be able to swim upstream in urine just like the candiru catfish.
And this one could teach me the weapons of "ridicule, labelling and branding". You get the feeling he wants to eat your liver. And all I can come up with by way of a sneer is this.
Not good huh. To be honest I cannot do the sneer. I much prefer this style of journalism.
This is what happens when you try to copy a copy of a sneer. You start talking about frying the maggots.
But this one is my favourite by a long shot. Anne Coulter sets the pace. She has the looks, the fashion sense and the attitude. She sets the standard by which all the other bottomfeeders are measured.
Do you think I've managed to achieve a lighter tone? Even had a bit of fun?
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Revenge? For what, Vietnam? We're already kicking your ass all over the western hemisphere.
The only places you bullshit bolshie bellyaching has any cred are in tottering socialist paradises like France. Good luck with THAT.
We win, you lose, because out world view is more closely corrilated with that troublesome, five-year-plan-wrecking thing that socialists hate: reality. And most people know it, which is why they vote for us. Democracy is such a bitch, isn't it, comrade?
You're out of power and shit out of luck. Oh well. Keep fighting that good fight, loser. Shit, we even sneer better than you.